Who Decided That Demons Are Unkillable?
by Hourglass Cipher
Summary: Bill is trying to court Dipper. Trouble ensues. Collab with the ever amazing Nightfall100! Rated T because Nightfall insisted and I'm tired of arguing with her.


_I'm back!_

No you're not!

 _Yes I am! And this time we're starting out with responding to a review we got!_

13ForLife: I read the other one you did with Nightfall and this is amazing! I love the bickering back and forth. You two sound like five year olds! I couldn't stop laughing.

 _Um, correction! Nightfall sounds like a five year old. I am clearly mature...ish._

I'm older than you.

 _Don't bring that into it!_

Never mind all that (though I am clearly more mature) let's get into the story!

 _You are not! And I'm starting! Here we go:_

Natsu rubbed his head, lost in thought…

 _HEY! You're in the wrong fandom! I told you to let me start!_

' _Dipper knew it was going to be a bad day when he woke up to the deer teeth. They were dangling around the neck of the person leaning over him. Correction: The demon leaning over him. Dipper let out a shriek(that did definitely NOT sound girly) and yanked the covers back over his head._

" _Come on Pine Tree!" Bill protested. "You can't hide under there forever!" Dipper growled and decided not to respond. This seemed to aggravate the demon._

" _Don't ignore me!" He cried out. Dipper still didn't reply. After a minute of quiet, he decided to risk poking his head out of the covers. His eyes scanned the room, hoping against hope that Bill was gone. It seemed as though he was. Then the bedroom door slammed open. Standing there was the hurricane known as Mabel Pines._

" _What was all the screaming about?" She inquired innocently. Dipper glared at her._

" _Was it the invisible wizard again?" Mabel asked. She paid no attention to Dipper shaking his head and stormed over to the closet, banging her fist against the wooden door._

" _I know you're in there invisible wizard!" She screamed before flinging open the door. Standing in the closet was a familiar golden haired demon._

" _Hey Shooting Star," Bill said, grinning and waving._

" _DEMON!" Mabel screamed, and slammed the door shut again.'_

Demon! Oh no, all is lost. My friend is evil, the world is ending. Overreacting, melodramatic, nonsense.

 _Hey! I take offense to that!_

'"Dipper," Mabel panted breathlessly, "why is there a demon in the closet?"

"For the exact same reason that there is _not_ an invisible wizard. This is Gravity Falls, where the weird and the wonderful coalesce into one ruined night of sleep." he grumbled.

Mabel paid no attention to her brother, instead pressing her back to the door as it rattled on it's hinges. "Ok. how do we get rid of it?" She inquired.

"Candles. Lots and lots of candles."

The candles didn't work.

Dipper felt his ears flush bright red anytime he passed someone in the halls of his school. While the inhabitants of the town happily accepted the oddities of everyday life, seeing the junior walking stiffly down the hall with a golden haired boy tailing him attracted some odd looks. Luckily Dipper was late to school after the fiasco that morning, so there was hardly anyone there to see him and his, _predicament._

"So, this is school?" Bill said questioningly, glancing around him with his hands folded neatly behind his back. His golden shirt bunched around his finger tips, and Dipper couldn't help feeling that even the simple clothes the demon was wearing seemed out of place among the dull american students.

"It seems…"

"Worse than you had expected?" Dipper supplied, still refusing to look behind him. He dreaded the moment that he would have to explain Bill to his english teacher.'

 _My turn! And pah-lease! Everyone knows that candles don't work on dream demons! Onward!_

' _Dipper tried to ditch Bill, he really did. He took detours, shortcuts, even made his way through crowds. Nothing worked. All too soon, they arrived at the door to english class. Dipper stared at the knob as though it would burn him if he touched it. Bill made a noise of impatience._

" _Just open the door already!" He cried out. Dipper barely kept himself from rolling his eyes as he reached forward and swung the door open. Of course, his english teacher was on him the moment he walked in._

" _Dipper," she exclaimed. "Who is this? Introduce him to the class." Dipper swallowed nervously before making his way to the front of the classroom. Bill happily followed._

" _This is my friend from out of town," Dipper began. "Umm..William!"_

" _I'm his boyfriend!" Bill added. Dipper went red._

" _He..we...I...That's not true!" Dipper protested. The class tittered._

" _Um…" The teacher began, unsure of how to handle this. "Please take a seat boys." Dipper stared at his feet as he walked back to his desk, his face flushed red. Bill followed him with a wide smirk on his face. The smirk didn't last long after class started though.'_

*click* Deleted her off the document

*purple flames Billow up*

*Nightfall grabs fire extinguisher*

'"How dare you!" Bill exclaimed, hands hard on the table as he stood and leaned towards the front of the classroom. "I knew Shakespeare personally! You dare to contradict my knowledge?"

The teacher stared at him in complete and utter confusion. She was probably reconsidering the soudness of her choice to not call the principal immediately upon seeing this boy's strange clothes. This must have been the tenth time within the hour that William had contradicted her.

"William, please. I do not care if you met the queen last week, please can you stop interrupting my class. If you do not agree, please leave immediately.

"We will," he snarled, grabbing Dipper's hand and tugging him along as he left the room.

Dipper cast one last dispairing glance behind him as he was pulled from the room. The teacher had already resumed teaching.

Bill stalked through the halls with Dipper stumbling behind him, his arm clasped in the older boy's grasp. They passed classrooms full of other students bowed studiously over their worksheets and textbooks. They only stopped when they reached the small garden that had been built the year previously by the edible garden club.

"What was that!" Dipper exploded when he was finally released from Bill's grip.

The demon glanced down, then paced away. "I have absolutely no idea how you survive that every day."

"I can't believe what you said to her! And dragging me away is so not cool. I'll get reported! And how do I explain where you came from?" Students had began to trickle into the courtyard from the classrooms that opened around them. Bill and Dipper almost immediately had an audience as the students gathered around them in a loose knot, wondering what was happening between the two boys. A few of the girls looked appreciatively at Bill's golden hair and well muscled arms. The demon paid no attention to them. He glared down at the younger boy.'

 _Nightfall! What are you writing!?_

I'm sorry! It's a habit to make my stories too serious! I am bad at your lighthearted humor! *weeps*

 _Hey stop crying! I'm a demon of the mind! Not of emotion! Okay, I'm taking over._

' _Bill glared at the junior boy and sighed._

" _What am I going to do with you Pine Tree?" He mumbled. Dipper attempted to walk away, only for Bill to reach out and grab his arm again._

" _Bill, what are you-" Dipper began, only for Bill to gently press his lips against his. When Bill finally pulled away, Dipper was a blushing mess._

" _Bye Pine Tree," Bill said, a cheeky smile on his face, and vanished. Dipper stared at the spot where the demon had stood for a minute before screaming, "Bill!"'_

 _And done!_

Yes, done. Finally. This isn't quite as much of a mess as usual, which is good.

 _Hey, our other ones were good...ish._

I am now playing Monochrome Dream Eating Baku. Welcome to the monochrome world!

 _What is it with you and those japanese songs!? I'm ending this before you can further infect the reader._

You know that you think they are amusing too!

 _*Blushes furiously* Do not! This is over!_


End file.
